Post #3 in the Miracles Series
If you are new to this blog I encourage you to read the first two posts in this series before reading this one. Then this post will make sense.
Miracles Don’t Always Look Pretty
Miracles may come with reality checks.
Sometimes they look cold and hard. Even distant.
Miracles are often disguised as hard work. Sometimes, very hard work.
Stepping into the miracle zone in January 2014 was some of the hardest work I’ve ever done.
And I am capable of very hard work. My daughter can work circles around me, but I’m still pretty good at getting a it done. Whatever “it” is. I may not be the fastest, but I will get a project done, no matter how long it takes.
But when this move actually happened, I had two weeks to pack and move, or throw away, 20 years of “life accumulation,” basically by myself. No miracles there. Just a lot of sore, tired muscles, no time to eat, and working my fingers till they bled. Yes, bled.
In one month I lost 18 pounds. And I haven’t lost a pound in 15 years!
I did have wonderful help a few times. Family and friends came and helped when they could. But the bulk of the work I had to do myself. Right up till the end. I finally hired a friend to finish the inside of the house and clean, and my cousin to finish moving the outside stuff.
I had to hire help because I reached the point I could not force myself to drive back over that mountain.
No miracles in that.
As I look back, during the actual moving, it’s as though I stepped into a dark, vacant, hole.
I was so emotionally traumatized I barely wrote anything for three months. When I did it was surface words. Nothing of real meaning. It hurt too badly to look within for any substance.
If you look back over my posts, I told you I was moving in Do You Ever Need More Patience? the end of January while I was almost killing myself trying to get moved. Then I wrote nothing until March when I shared What Ice Breakers Work to apologize for my long absence.
But it wasn’t until April when Mika chewed on me for not being honest with you that I finally got real and apologized in Responsibility, I Let You Down
Miracles Kept Me Moving Forward
But none of those posts tell you about the miracles that kept me going. Kept me in Cortez. Kept me clinging to my sanity.
I had to be at work on Monday February 2, so I moved to Cortez on Sunday, February 1st. But the house I was moving into wasn’t available yet, so I had to spend a couple nights with Mika and Hardy. My plan, even though I didn’t say anything to anyone, was to clean the place in the evenings and move in over the following weekend.
That was rude.
I had no right to just camp out at my daughter and son-in-laws.
In reality I was pouting and feeling extremely sorry for myself.
Hanging out with them in the evenings after work was helping me cope with leaving my life in Delta County.
Monday and Tuesday Mika helped me by cleaned on my, soon-to-be, new home. Hardy rounded up his brother-in-law and they moved my bed and some other stuff in.
This meant I had to spend my first night there.
In a strangers house.
It was horrible.
I ate my first meal there. . .
as the dark emptiness engulfed me.
It is a lovely home. . . I was incredibly blessed to be living there. . . but all I experienced was loneliness.
The house has a beautiful Jacussi tub. After my pathetic dinner, I climbed in the tub, drank a Blue Moon beer and cried my heart out. The blinding blanket of depression was wrapping itself securely around my shoulders.
All I wanted to do was go home.
Not the place I was at.
It belonged to someone else. I was paying money to stay in someone else’s house.
As I climbed into bed, half drunk and fully miserable, a lifelong friend of mine called and asked how I was doing.
She had no idea the earful she was going to get!
I sobbed my woes into her ear. Her loving answer was for me to move back home. And do it tomorrow!
But she is married to a wonderful, caring, down-to-earth man.
Luckily they were sitting together while she and I were having this conversation. Instinctively she asked if he agreed.
I will be forever grateful for his simple, straightforward answer . . . that came as a question.
Does she have a job to come home to?
Then why are you even talking about it?
Wow! Talk about a reality check.
It was time for this girl to put on her big girl panties and get over it.
I cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up I decided it was time to get back to reading my little “Jesus Calling” Daily Devotional that I had ignored for several days. Here was the very page I read:
Talk about feeling the touch of God. First thing, on my first morning, in that new house. Starting my new life.
He had been there all along.
I was the one that had gotten lost.
But there He was, ever so gently, reaching out to me. Guiding me back to the path He had laid out for me. Reminding me I was living in His Miracle Zone.
Never Doubt Miracles
No matter how dark your circumstances are, no matter how lost you may feel, never doubt your miracles.
And always trust God.
To Be Continued . . .
Come back tomorrow for #4 in the Miracles Series!
Copyright © 2013 & 2014 Kristi Ross, All rights reserved.
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