Communication Life Lessons – Post #2
Hello! I’m so glad you’re here! It’s really chilly today so I invite you to grab a cup of something hot, pull up a chair, and join me for a visit.
If you’re new to the blog, you’ve joined us in the midst of a story about how simple communication and trusting God can teach us transform our lives and teach us incredible life lessons.
Ok, let’s get back to our story!!
Prayer Brings Communication
From last weeks post you know that two little hand written prayer requests found their way right back to the hand that wrote them. I thought I had been so sneaky in passing them off to the Prayer Team Members! Until they landed right back in my very own pile!
But as much as I dreaded praying for the two men that had shattered my heart, those prayers released the hurt and anger in me.
It was so odd.
The best way I can describe it, is like a vapor that simply vanished.
The hurt, the heartache, the anger, the resentment.
And Then. . .
Two months later my daughter calls and tells me her dad is coming to her new house for Thanksgiving.
My own issues came screaming back.
All I could think of was he hasn’t seen you since you were 17 and suddenly he wants to come for Thanksgiving dinner! You’ve got to be kidding me! Great! Here we go again. He’s going to come and hurt her and I will have to . . . well let’s just say . . . hurt him VERY Badly.
Thank Heaven’s I did not say any of that to her. But I sure was thinking it! And a lot more that is simply not appropriate to share here!
I was ready for the fight. Because even though Mika and her Dad were trying to heal their relationship, I was stuck in the past.
I did not want to ruin my daughter’s Thanksgiving because of my own stuff.
Luckily, my sister and her husband were already planning on going to my daughter’s for the holiday. Yesssss! They could stand by her through this and we all agreed, well, everyone but Mika, that I should just stay away.
All was going as planned. They were all having a pleasant holiday . . . until my sister announced that she and my brother-in-law had to leave after dinner and drive on to Arizona to visit my brother-in-law’s family.
Reasonable enough. It’s a holiday and my brother-in-law would like to see his family too.
But wait! That wasn’t part of our plan! I wanted them to hang out and give Mika support.
I over-reacted, threw some clothes in a bag, turned out horses, loaded up dogs, and jumped in my car. I made the nearly 4 hour drive to Cortez in less than 3.
I turned in her driveway, and . . . there he was.
The man I had hated for years.
Standing there like he was king of the world.
I waited for it. . . the anger . . . the resentment . . . the sick feeling . . . the hurt.
But it never came.
There was literally nothing.
It was like seeing a stranger that you knew nothing about.
Then I realized it.
God had played a sneaky on ME! He had snuck in and made me pray for this man so I would be prepared for this very moment.
I was able to greet him and say my pleasantries unaffected by all the things he had done and said over the years.
I walked right on in the house and visited with my family before my sister and brother-in-law had to leave. Had a very pleasant visit, and a wonderful Thanksgiving afternoon.
Later that night, Dean had to “make a beer run” and asked me to go with him. Normally I would have found any excuse in the world to not go with him, but instead I agreed. And I’m glad I did. It gave us a few minutes of privacy to have some very deep, difficult heart to heart communication about a lot of water that had passed under our bridge. He apologized for being a, well, I’ll clean it up some, a jerk, all those years. And I was able to tell him that I thought he should have been involved in our daughter’s life over the years, and how badly it hurt ME when he didn’t come to her wedding.
I swallowed my pride and apologized for everything I did to contribute to our dysfunctional marriage, and the years of anger and resentment that followed.
It was one of the most healing 15 minutes of my life.
We were able to let go of years of destructive behavior and lay the foundation for moving forward.
An Important Life Lesson
From that day forward Dean and I have rebuilt a friendship. Not a close friendship, but a friendship non the less. And thankfully Mika no longer has to be the referee. That’s a blessing!
Healing your relationships, no matter how you are related is the most challenging, but also one of the most rewarding gifts you can give yourself. And the other person. I haven’t asked him this, but I think Dean would agree. It’s been very healing for both of us. And Mika.
BUT, this in not the end of the story! There’s a great deal more as a matter of fact! And trust me, it’s going to get Very interesting in the next post!!
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Please Have Some Communication With Me!
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God Bless! Have a wonderful day!